Well, your mother keeps telling that population of Earth is approximately 7,3 billion people, so at least one of those will meet you and marry you. Some people like being single – you are free, no one tells you what to do, there are no obligations, no duties, no special dates to remember. But the other demographic openly suffers from waking up in a cold bed. They desperately cry to Single Ladies, answer every question with a new story about their ex, search every page on Tinder and generally are a pain in the ass for all friends and family members. Are you one of those? Good, I mean, bad. At least you are being dead honest.
Lonely And Single - What's The Difference?
The main difference between those two is that being single doesn’t mean being lonely. Lonely people feel forgotten even in the biggest crowd of beloved people, while singles can easily be happy enjoying their solitude. We always say – “I hate being single”/”He’s just tired of being single” as if the world ends on this same note. People love pretending to be miserable like they are in some kind of post-apocalyptic movie. The problem arises when we are not capable of finding someone special, giving one hundred damn reasons to show the tragedy.
Being single is not a tag. Wise people say that those who feel sad being alone will not bring joy to their partner either. Some say that one’s loneliness is some kind of childish protest against humanity, but I don’t assume anything in any way. Some of us are really lonely because of missing parents, quarrels with friends, broken heart. Others cannot even understand the reason of loneliness. What attracts it like a magnet?
10 Honest Reasons Why You Are Still Single
Ask yourself the question and I will give the list of answers. It is very easy to find the problem among the statements only if you fully understand yourself as a human being. Some of the issues are hidden deep in our subconscious, but we will talk about those as well! Reasons why I am single:
1. Your heart was broken.
First and the most obvious reason of being single is having a hurtful relationship in the past. People, whose heart was broken once, need a longer period of time for a remedy. Was it a bad experience with a boy or a girl? Was it your first time of being with the opposite sex? Breakups, as well as our first loves, are hard to forget. But initially we all will get through because time is a great healer.
Never stick to a certain relationship. My friends all make the same fatal mistake – they remember exes. Yes, those jerks that cheated, yelled, were obnoxious, and possessive. Yet still all of them know the sacred number to call when they are drunk. This is even worse than being single – you are just one stupid person who doesn’t know how to end an unwanted relationship.
Others, especially guys, love carrying all the memories. At first, all of them are chill, cool, and calm. Until they see a profile picture of their exe’s dream makeover. And when she posts a photo with a new date, they get super-jealous and start thinking this is the end. They will stay bachelors forever! No girl will satisfy their needs, only mothers deserve their love. Not wanting to move on fixating on a problem is the worst way to live after a breakup. You broke up, but you are not BROKE or BROKEN!
2. You escaped a toxic relationship.
People who were in a commitment with a toxic person rarely want to repeat this horrific experience! Sure, we are not stupid to be mentally violated for the second time. So we stay single until the trauma fades away. Were you hurt physically? Have your partner been threatening you? Was he or she confronting you or wanting you to choose your partner over something? If the answer was positive for some of those questions, I strongly recommend you not to procrastinate with an issue. Talk to your closest friends, relatives, siblings. If you are scared to be in a relationship, it’s better to consult a psychologist or go under therapy to get rid of uncomfortable feelings.
3. You don’t feel like going on dates.
Sometimes it happens when people are just happy to be single. You know how to check it? You don’t read articles like this out of bore. If you are quite free and unbothered, then why searching for something that doesn’t coexist with your current emotions. You are interested in being taken if you take a test or a quiz and instead of thinking about an abstract subject you choose the image of quite known person. For example, when you stumble on the quiz “Does he like me” and you know a person that pops up in your mind, then you might be interested in being engaged in some kind of relationship. But if love-themed articles have nothing to do with you, then what are you doing here?
Some people really enjoy being single not because of fake strength and artificial independence, they just have another goals at this period of time. For instance, you have to study, you are involved in a long-term project, you search for the path of life and so on. And if your parents insist on having a baby, appreciate their concerns, but it’s better to wait until you find a decent partner than to go on a spree.
4. You are insecure.
Insecure people are bad partners and let’s not hide the truth. They are worried, anxious, overly obsessed and sometimes even hysterical. Everything happens because they are afraid of losing a newfound date. We all are self-conscious at some point. But some of us can proudly admit that we have some flaws and everything can be fixed, but others cry about unfaithful mates around the block who want ‘only one thing from you.’ In fact, they want NOTHING from you PERSONALLY, because you are not ready to give ANYTHING yet. And yes, it is savage, but I am not intended to mock insecure people. I just want you to be fair with yourself and admit that sometimes the problem is in YOU, and splashing your emotions that spill over the boarders of norms is not acceptable. You should love yourself, and everyone will love you back.
5. You are immature.
If you are childish, then the problem is quite simple to solve. If you are comfortable with being a little girl or boy, then it’s quite comfortable – the time will come anyway. But if you WANT a relationship, but CAN’T do it because commitments scare you, then you should work on yourself. There is nothing bad in being a little childish, but if you throw tantrums like a four-year old, maybe you should consult with a therapist, because there can be a deeper problem than that. Immature men are a different problem. There is a demographic of men that stayed tied to mother’s apron strings for too long. Is your mother making decisions for you? Do you call to share with every detail of your life? Because if the answer is yes, then parents just don’t let you become an adult, because they are overly attached. Your new date can figure out this environment soon and run away.
6. You are negative.
People who send a negative message are far less attractive then positive peers. If you are single for a reason, the reason might be in you, and you’ll have to admit it. When you have quarrels with people in lines, during a work day, in stores and just in the streets, you might think of changing an image from negative to positive, from minus to plus. It can be difficult sometimes, but admitting the problem of aggressive behavior, depression, or indifference is halfway to the solution.
7. You are self-assured.
People who see themselves as true masterpieces are hard to get on with. If you possess the image of a diamond princess or successful millionaire, fellow men or women might find you a little arrogant or even delusional. You need to realize that people who are rich, sexy, kind, powerful and single is just someone’s wet dream. Just let’s be real: perfect people do not exist in real life. Not you, me, him or her – neither of us is ideal. As soon as you’ll descend onto the Earth from the spaceship, you’ll be more tolerant to mortal.
8. You are way too beautiful indeed.
You know, perfect people suffer the most. They are an image of sugar and spice and everything nice –to the point when you are desired but not approachable. But if you realize that and are ready to find a person that doesn’t find beauty scary or suspicious – then search for successful people with high expectations. Don’t belittle your qualities to find a boyfriend, just be yourself, and the hero will appear out of thin air!
9. Important. Unknown reason number 1.
Now we will be talking about serious psychological issues that hide in your subconscious. Have you ever found it hard to be near the person you like, have an intimate talk, kiss or have sex? Do you fall in love with cold, unapproachable people who treat you like crap, but as soon as they start having feelings, you are not interested anymore?
Psychoanalysts have found a name for this phenomenon – it is called inner rejection. Something in your childhood was traumatic or went wrong, and now you are searching for emotionally unavailable partners who will treat you like you treat yourself. Were you insecure as a kid? Were your parents too strict or indifferent? People continue the path of self-torture because they have low sense of socialization. I strongly recommend you to talk to a specialist in order to understand the nature of this problem.
10. Important. Unknown reason number 2.
Another psychological problem goes further than negativity. If you attack people or your partner calls you cold, aggressive, dramatic, and problematic, and people you know think the same of you, then you have a problem with following your parent’s pattern. Healthy families don’t raise children with social problems, you might just copy the way dad treated mom, that’s why you are single now. My recommendations are the same as with the previous problem. But, if those problems are not very important, let’s talk about some other solutions!
Reasons To Remain Single:
No one takes your time. Why are you obliged to be taken? Save your space! Be independent, try new stuff!
No duties and accusations. If you want this sock to hang from a lamp, then why should you clean the room for your lover? Weird perspective.
No jealousy. You don’t have to report like a caught Russian spy! Get drunk with your friends, have fun! No headaches because of partner’s everlasting control.
No expenses. Who cares about Valentine’s day or her Chanel fragrance? No girl, no fear of buying something unnecessary or too cheap.
Multiple sexual partners every time you want. Get laid every day with a random chick or guy without the fear of getting busted! Be afraid of STDs sometimes, though.