You are in love and completely confident in your partner. And they have similar feelings for you. But time passes, and all the new flaws of the beloved appear before you. So do many reasons for quarrels. What does it mean – is it time to leave? No, it's time to learn how to reach compromises in a relationship.
What comes to your mind while arguing with your beloved? You are surely indignant at the fact he or she is wrong, still having enough audacity not to admit it. Funny enough, your loved one thinks the same about you. After all, our partners just want the best for us and do not have intentions to offend us trying to prove their point of view. It is just in the gust of passion they do not notice how they hurt us. And there was a quarrel. The thing that follows every couple, being a completely normal thing, but you should remember: the conflict does not arise when only one person is wrong. It is a clash of interests. So, both are to blame. And the decision will be the one satisfying both - in fact, that is what is called compromising in a relationship.
Understanding between a man and a woman is not always that easy to achieve. Maintaining rapport and happy relationships with your loved one is a hard work. Initially, any relationship is bright, amazing, rich in emotions, everything seems to be a fairy tale. But dark times come, so is it possible to go through them smoothly? How can a compromise help strengthen a relationship? Read further to find out.
What is compromising?
People often face the necessity of reaching mutual concession in order to meet both of their needs - this is what is called a compromise solution to conflict situations. Various times per day a person has to compromise with their conscience, relatives, friends, partners and colleagues without even paying attention to this, we all do this automatically. This method can be effective not only in social, but also in the political life of society in general.
From the psychological point of view, compromise in a relationship is a decision in which both parties must take some steps towards each other and find out what result will satisfy each of them. This action requires the temporary rejection of ambitions and interests, which in some situations can be of great advantage. It can be difficult for people to take such steps, but not compromising only causes more arguments, so the results of compromises in a relationship should be beneficial to both parties. Such behavior is not only useful for resolving a conflict but also for preserving further communication, family or friendly relations. Choosing a compromise when making decisions in contentious situations, you can weigh the positive and negative sides of such a decision. There are, of course, some drawbacks that constantly follow relationship and compromise:
- the need to sacrifice one’s principles, ambitions, forget about pride for a while
- sometimes only partial satisfaction with the result
- in some cases, this is only an intermediate step out of the situation;
- Making a compromising decision requires thoughtful and cautious actions and some negotiation skills.
If focusing your attention not only on the disadvantages, a reasonable compromise has also some positive aspects:
- mutual benefit
- in some cases, the final resolution of the conflict
- negotiation experience
- possible preservation of further relationships.
Is compromising in relationships necessary?
Compromises in a relationship are extremely important, yet making such kind of decision can be quite intimidating and difficult. Every time we compromise, we avoid making new mistakes. But in the end we can feel as if our feeling were underrated. Should I betray my own point of view for the sake of a loved one? Is it too big of a price? Why is not it just enough to remain yourself? However, reaching compromise in a relationship without changing yourself is not only a possible but completely vital thing to do. So, do not be so scared of it. Alas, finding a person who will accept you just the way you are does not always work. And there are no guarantees that even if you find such a person, you will not have disagreements while living together and there will be no everyday problems and small quarrels. All people try to reach compromises in the relationship because otherwise, it would be unbearable to live together. And living in a society, we are forced to adapt to each other as well.
Compromising is necessary because it does not change your life as a whole and you do not experience psychological discomfort. It just means understanding the needs and requirements of another person and respecting their point of view. Of course, you sometimes occupy the compromising position for the sake of pleasing a loved one, to make your partner happy. But this does not mean he/she will not do the same for you next time your thoughts do not coincide. When one of the partners does not satisfy their need for spiritual and psychological development, then over time you will have to solve this problem. Consequently, the less you discuss it, the stronger and more unexpected it will arise for you. So, if one of the two feels insecurity, or inferiority, or inability to love, then it will be right to talk about it. And you should not be afraid of this, avoid this conversation, and even more so make fun of your partner, it’s better to wait and compromise, and save your relationship.
How to compromise in a relationship
Realize it now and remember forever. You have to make concessions and be able to hear each other. In a relationship, your personal opinion has the right to exist - no doubt. But it should not overgrow the general happiness in the couple. Until you both understand that compromises are necessary not to break up after the first conflict situation in the relationship, your quarrels will be meaningless cries. How to learn to compromise? This is easy in theory and difficult to put into practice in the middle of a quarrel. Do you feel that the conflict is ripening? Remember the compromise. Do you think you give more to your partner than you get in return? Ask them to meet your interests. You are always the first to apologize side even if it was not your fault? It is high time your partner learns how to compromise. Keep calm. Throwing away the property of your partner, breaking things and crashing dishes into pieces will not do any good. And if this does not help, just imagine how crazy your tantrums look from the side.
Try to sincerely support and understand your loved one’s point of view. Even if it seems completely wrong to you at first. Find that one logical perspective, or the reasonable part that speaks to you and is actually quite adequate. And tell your partner that you do agree with some of their statements. Your words should sound calm, but cohesive and understandable - “Yes, I also think that buying a white sports car is very cool. It looks really beautiful. It is a pity that we cannot currently afford it”. Do not put yourself over anybody else. Do not declare that you are tired of everything, you will leave, and you are the one always making decisions and struggling the most. You will only quarrel even more. Respect other person’s thoughts and intensions as much as your own.
Only women in compromising positions – is it bad or good?
The most dangerous mistakes for relationships are made by women. A sensible and wise woman knows that her psyche is several times stronger than the male one. And a woman has two possibilities: either to inspire a man or to destroy him mentally. Accordingly, if a woman suppresses a man mentally, then he becomes a deeply unhappy and unnecessary person. Instead, in situations where a man tries to act cool, shows how smart is he, a woman should better agree with him. This is an act of a wise and intelligent woman and the man will surely appreciate it. If a woman behaves in such a sensible way, then everything else in the relationship will be exactly the way she wants. She just needs to agree with a man. By the way, because of this reason, when a man has no more arguments to defend his point of view, and the woman continues to destroy him mentally, he can abuse her physically which is one of the most disgusting things a man, unfortunately, can do when he is out of intelligent thoughts.
On the other hand, the woman’s first contributing to compromise is only the first step, where other similar will follow, until this accumulated sea of claims and offenses breaks its banks. Therefore, couples need to know the following:
- all desires that somehow do not converge need to be discussed
- try to argue and listen to each other patiently
- here it is important not to shut down and not to harbor a grievance silently
From that you can decide for yourself whether or not a woman should always make the first step in apologizing. To be true, the best way out of every argument is the rational meeting of the needs of both parties without a woman scarifying her own opinion.
Quotes about compromising
- People are more honest and frown less when they are alone. All wrinkles are from artificial smiles. The man is also aging from compromise. Rinat Valiullin
- Compromise and responsibility are the main components of a successful business. Carlos Slim Helu
- Compromise is when you do what you do not want to do. And there is the whole tragedy about this. Because a person is happy in his personal life and is effective at work only when he does what he loves. Mikhail Labkovsky. «I want and I will. Accept yourself, love life and become happy»
- Like everything else in our lives, love is a compromise. Victor Pelevin. «iPhuck 10»
- Healthy compromises turn conflicts into chronic diseases. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- Do you know the definition of compromise? Compromise is when everyone feels bad. Alexander Zorich. «Quick fire»
- The ability to compromise is a meritorious dignity, not a despicable weakness. The Star Wars
- Agreeing to a compromise means, in part, recognizing the validity of other people's arguments. Raymond Aron
- There is no progress without compromise. There is no victory without innocent victims. The Hunger Games
- The most significant changes are always brought about by a compromise. Sydney Smith
It can be concluded that compromises are necessary, despite the fact that sometimes it is very difficult to get over your pride and listen to your partner attentively. Some things can be solved with the help of a compromise, others cannot, but the main thing to remember is that this is done for the sake of happiness of love.
Is it worth it? Everyone decides for themselves. Rather yes, and reaching a mutual understanding and agreement is a real art every couple should master.