How often do we hear the opinion that a man and a woman can’t live in perfect harmony? The incompatibility of lovers is a common cause of a breakup. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where we can be interested in a person, and after a while, we realize that our interest in him or her is much stronger. Then we understand that we have fallen in love. Although, we must admit, sometimes we fall in love when we not only have interest in a person but even when this person doesn’t pay appropriate attention to us, we don’t communicate, he or she doesn’t give any hopes and so on. We become either aggressors and begin to pursue our loved ones or we just quietly hope for reciprocity. But everything is clear here: a person we like doesn’t take any steps to meet, we don’t experience any reciprocal feelings, he or she can’t or doesn’t want to love us for some reason, etc.
There are such relationships that look like a circle – people break up, then again make up, then again break up and to infinity. Quite often, in such relationships, the initiator of reconciliations and breakups is the same person. And when you think about it, then immediately the question arises: what kind of relationship is this? Why does only one of us show initiative? It seems that this is some kind of one-sided relationships. And if this is so, then it is not surprising that “all feelings disappear” from time to time. But it is surprising that they constantly arise again.
One sided relationship’s definition and origins
What is a one-sided relationship? Imagine that the life without a particular girl doesn’t make sense for you. You live from meeting to meeting, you spend money without counting, you are ready to prove your love to her in all ways, including getting the star for her; you are sure that she, in turn, is not indifferent to you, but for some reason, she shows a strange indecision; you dutifully wait when she finally will give you a signal. And there is no such a signal after a week, a month and 3 months of dating. This is how one-sided relationship with a girlfriend looks like.
You need to understand that only two partners can build a strong relationship. If one does much more, all initiatives go only from his or her side, and the second partner doesn’t appreciate and continues to live without giving anything back, then these relationships are unlikely to lead to anything more.
There are situations where one person is interested in sharing the pastime more than his or her soul mate, but in this case, both often think that this is a one-sided situation, not realizing that another person actually feels the same – that’s why it is difficult to choose the right time for communication. When people are interested in a meeting (or in anything else), they decide how to change their schedules. If people don’t want to meet, they are looking for ways to move this unpleasant duty to another time. Can there be love in a one-sided relationship? Yes, but anyway you have to try to go on mutual sacrifice for the sake of each other and equally make each other happy.
Many relationships can be one-sided. In a one-sided relationship, you can occupy a higher position on your “love pyramid”. One participant of such a relationship can listen 90% of the time and only 10% speak. This is a kind of one-sided therapy, with a lack of balance and exchange of opinions. Of course, many people may think that this is the bad quality of most non-ideal couples, but this is also the hallmark of most strong relationships. The perfect relationship is when everything is 50/50 (but it’s okay if 65/35). After all, unequal distributions can be caused by different types of personality.
Signs you are in a one sided relationship
A one-sided relationship is not the best idea for a couple. It is humiliating and hurts one of the partners. But sometimes people involve us in such a connection without our consent. We don’t even notice that our world is completely locked around a loved one. How to understand that a particular person is the center of your universe now? There are several frightening signs of a one-sided relationship:
1. Only you are responsible for drawing up plans
Despite the fact that both of you are part of this relationship, the construction and implementation of plans are somewhat similar to the work. There are endless checks of the schedules in order to somehow think of and make a date there. Moreover, your partner is not interested in choosing a place or other type of activity and just doesn’t take part in anything. You are free to do anything.
2. She often cancels your joint plans and doesn’t tell you about hers
Canceling plans, she shows disrespect for you and your feelings. Not to mention your daily routine. Also, you understand that she doesn’t include you in her plans for the future. When she talks about the future, she rarely mentions you. If you are a couple, then she must make plans for a common future. If you don’t see all this, then this can be considered the obvious signs you are in a one-sided relationship.
3. She wants you to do what she says
One of the signs of one-sided relationships is that she absolutely loves you when you do what she asks. But when it’s not easy for you and you give up for some reasons, she can get you out of your house. You are forbidden to feel somewhat absurd or simply tired in her presence. If you feel so, you don’t have to apologize for this. You have to act only as you would like to do. You don’t have to put up with it. There are bad days in the lives of everyone, and there is nothing wrong with suppressing them for a while. If your partner really cares about you, she will try to make you feel better.
4. She would rather meet with friends than spend time with you
It’s quite obvious that you can’t be together all the time. There is life outside relationships. But you also should devote some time to each other. In fact, you must do this. However, if your partner makes you feel that the time spent with you is her responsibility, then think over it. Perhaps you should release her from such obligations. You don’t want to bother her, do you?
5. She always makes you guilty
Am I in a one-sided relationship? Yes, if your loved one constantly makes you feel guilty or is offended by you for no apparent reason, then think why does she need all this? Perhaps she is just manipulating you. This can’t be tolerated. Relations should be built on sincerity and trust and not on emotional pressure.
6. You constantly justify the behavior of your partner in the family and friends circle
How to tell if it’s a one-sided relationship? Very easy! Your friends and relatives always doubt the attitude of your chosen one to you. For this reason, you always use excuses. They are afraid that if your partner doesn’t respect you and doesn’t pay attention to the surrounding people, then this means that she doesn’t care about everything related to you. If she loves and cares about you, her behavior should reflect this in her actions.
7. She is not interested in your life
Despite the way your family or friends treat your partner, you still try to make her a part of your environment. But instead of responding to you in return, she is not even interested in any of your close people and things you like. She doesn’t want to learn anything more about you than what she already knows.
8. She doesn’t want you to communicate with her friends and relatives
In addition to the previous sign, she is very closed in her personal life. You know little about her family or friends, and she doesn’t make any effort to change it. There is always the lack of a strong connection between you two.
9. She always criticizes you
Any relationship, where one person criticizes the other, is inherently doomed. Close people should support each other in a difficult moment, not blame.
10. You don’t feel happy
Relationships should bring positive emotions. If you constantly feel anxiety, excitement or tension being with her, it is a sure sign that you made a mistake in your choice. If the person suits you, you will feel easily and freely in any situation.
11. You don’t develop
Healthy relationships should guide you and help your prosperity in all areas, while unhealthy relationships have exactly the opposite effect. When there is a person around who inspires you, it’s easier for you to cope with difficulties and move towards your goal. If your relationship pulls you back, then you don’t get enough support.
Romantic relationships are a very important part of our life. We need support, feel joy and don’t feel lonely. Unfortunately, some of them don’t give us this, but rather destroy us. This relationship is like a disease. If you can recognize the one-sided relationship signs in time, you may have time to save them. If not, then you will lose it all.
How to deal with a one-sided relationship: can it be fixed?
Figuratively speaking, if possible, then it is better not to start a serious relationship with a partner who at the very beginning of a relationship only puts a cheek for a kiss and doesn’t kiss you by herself. However, we can’t always do this and we want this relationship by all means. So, what to do it this case? How to deal with a one-sided relationship?
- Don’t look for any excuses for a person whose reaction to signs of attention on your part is always passive.
- Dealing with a one-sided relationship, let a girl have the opportunity to show initiative and encourage her to do this! Don’t limit her emotional space to your own ideas.
- There are two people involved in a relationship and two are responsible for its development. Don’t assume superfluous responsibility.
- How to balance a one-sided relationship? Define a clear framework for your partner. If a person requires you to make concessions, let her do it in response.
- Many women are simply not emotional or have experience of unsuccessful relationships, and therefore are afraid to show themselves. Ask them about everything openly – about the manifestation of feelings, about men, about helping in plans. Then the negative experience will take a back seat, and your partner will no longer be afraid to get emotional trauma in communication.
- If your one-sided relationship needs help, then, first of all, try to increase your own self-esteem because the surrounding projects our own attitude on us. And if you don’t love yourself enough, you can hardly expect it from others.