When two people meet and begin to experience an irresistible craving for communication with each other, it means that a special connection arises between them. This is a mysterious and very interesting process that occurs in several stages. It is very difficult to cope with it, because the emerging spiritual connection has a specific chemical basis - thus, the process of falling in love passes in two worlds simultaneously.
Today we will consider this process in detail. You will learn to recognize whether between you there is the same chemistry that paints your soul and the entire surrounding world into the cheerful colors of love.
What Is Chemistry Between Two People?
In order to understand what is chemistry between a man and a woman, we need to consider one more concept - compatibility. After all, they are very often confused, although they work in different ways and perform different functions.
Compatibility
Can other people see a chemistry between two people? Yes, but in this case, people often fall into fallacy. There are two seemingly convergent concepts - chemistry and compatibility - between which there is much less in common than it seems at first glance.
Compatibility is more tied to the moral and ethical and cultural background of the partners. Compatibility is the coincidence of some spiritual code. If your views on the main aspects of life (career, parenting, finance, hobbies etc.) coincide, then we can safely say that there is compatibility between you. If it does not, it will not work. For example, a killer will never have compatibility with a Carmelite nun because the moral and ethical bases of these two psycho-types are on opposite sides of the pole.
So, if you like girls who read Tolstoy, Dostoevsky and have an academic background, and you have met a beauty who spends 90% of the time in the gym and admires pumped up peasants, you probably will not succeed. There is no compatibility between you, except for rare cases. For example, if you just pretend that you like educated girls, but in fact, you are crazy about naive girls with an ideal figure. Then your compatibility will manifest despite the external "tinsel". People with an academic background prefer people with an academic background. Liberals prefer liberals. Conservatives prefer conservatives. So compatibility works.
Chemistry of love
The chemistry between two people is an extremely strong emotional connection. It does not arise simply and is felt only when people are in close proximity to each other. When there is chemistry between you, it means only one thing: the unique characteristics of your personality are synchronized with the characteristics of the other person, which caused an emotional response in both of you. However, in the case of chemistry, the "synchronization" of characteristics is not at all necessary - you can differ dramatically from each other, but the emotional connection will be very strong.
Positive emotions that we experience and direct to another person do not disappear: they are reflected, gaining even greater strength and returning to us. This is a kind of love ping-pong, which causes very strong feelings in the partners. Intense chemistry between two people is a passion that is very difficult to extinguish. Each your action, word, movement causes a splash of the hormone of pleasure - dopamine. And, as we have already said, this is an absolutely bilateral process. In your mind, something is formed that looks like a psychological dependence on drugs. In fact, frankly speaking, these are almost identical processes. You spend most of your time with each other, but you are still sorely lacking it.
You always need another "dose" of communication. For example, you spent the whole day together - walked in the park, ate ice cream, went to the cinema in the evening. After you said goodbye and went home, you call up again to chat till dawn. This is a typical manifestation of love chemistry.
Chemistry directly affects the quality of your sex. If there is compatibility between the partners, but there is no chemistry, sex will quickly annoy you and turn into a boring routine. In the presence of chemistry, sex delivers such pleasure that is difficult to compare with something. You are ready to have sex both day and night, and every sexual act gives equal emotions and feelings.
Chemistry between friends can be a reason for good sex. Compatibility between friends - cannot.
Characteristics of Good Chemistry Between Two People
Before we begin to talk about the characteristics of good love chemistry, it is necessary to understand what causes chemistry between two people. You will understand that this is almost completely passive, which occurs at those levels where the influence of our will is minimized. Thus, you will avoid a common mistake - sadness due to the fact that there is no "good" chemistry between you. But many people suffer because of this and fall into depression, although this is absolutely not rational.
How does chemistry between people develop?
In fact, the mechanism of the emergence of chemistry is extremely complicated. It is almost impossible to determine precisely the point of its origin and this is a fact.
This is similar to the birth of two empathic people with a paranormal telepathic connection: you can certainly foresee what your partner feels because you feel the same way. Your personality reacts equally to the world.
Artist Alex Gray once said that true love happens when two people with similar inner cockroaches that complement each other meet. And in his joke, there is some truth. Strong chemistry usually occurs between people with opposite, but complementary, character traits.
A sensitive, energetic and slightly nervous girl can turn out to be extremely attractive for a calm, soft and emotionless young man. Introverts usually naturally attract extroverts. Time management kings often attract unorganized individuals who act spontaneously.
The reason for all this absurdity is the coincidence of the chemical code of two people. Invisible to eyes trace elements begin to interact, making us feel love, although logic suggests that this is impossible. Thus, the characteristics of good chemistry between two people include:
- A feeling of unity;
- The desire to communicate, although you have different views on life;
- The desire not to pay attention to the partner's shortcomings, which you would consider critical otherwise;
- The desire to feel the world the way your partner feels.
So, the presence of compatibility does not mean at all that there is some kind of chemistry between you. Relations in which there is compatibility but no chemistry are very rationalized. Your main desire is simply to communicate with partners and share experiences. You can arrange a date in a restaurant and actively communicate on common topics for you, but in the end, when other couples begin to think about the possibility of sex or even a kiss, you absolutely do not care about such thoughts. In the case when there is chemistry but there is no compatibility, you are ready to forgive your partner anything, just to stay a little longer with him or her. Sex is very important to you and you are looking forward to it.
Signs of Chemistry Between a Man and a Woman
So how to tell if there's chemistry between two people? Here is a checklist we made for you.
Magic Touch
Each touch causes a real storm of emotions in you. You want this to happen again and you do not care what happens around. You do not care what other people think.
Feeling that it's forever
There is an unshakable conviction in you - what is happening between you, will never end. This relationship will not change. You feel like you've found your better half. You can endlessly maintain eye contact and not be embarrassed about this.
Intimacy in the crowd
You always behave as if there's nobody around you. Even if you are at a party of your best friend. The intimate connection between you is literally felt by all the present. You do not pay attention to anything, except for each other.
Obvious behavior: it is visible in your actions
Even if you have not officially started a relationship, you behave as if you have been together for a long time. This can happen completely unconsciously.
Common interests
This does not mean that you should immediately have common interests. If there is chemistry between you, you are ready to listen endlessly to your partner and take his or her experience. However, you want not just to listen - you want to share his or her views on life. And your partner feels the same.
You respect each other
There are absolutely inseparable things. For example, respect and love. You appreciate this and strive to respect each other.
You understand sarcasm
Sarcasm keeps a spark in the relationship. No matter how different it is, if you can understand and enjoy sarcasm, you can get along very well with each other without misunderstanding.
You know the small details about each other
Knowing even the small details about each other (for example, her favorite nail polish or his favorite porridge), this indicates that two people develop real chemistry. These things are often overlooked by others, and only a loved one can remember them.
You know what causes laughter
Staying in a relationship is what everyone wants. If two people know what makes another person laugh, it means that they paid close attention to each other and can cause a smile on their face even on dark days. Only loved ones can do this.
You understand each other's silence
When silence also becomes a way of communication between two people, this is a positive sign that relations are brewing. And now take a look at signs of sexual chemistry between man woman:
- You constantly feel slight sexual arousal;
- You like the smell of a partner;
- Even an accidental touch causes a desire to have sex;
- During sex you do not think of anything, except the process itself;
- You want to have sex several times a day;
- You like everything your partner does in sex;
- You do not hesitate to talk about your sexual preferences.