It is so easy to get lost in own feelings. Even men sometimes can’t understand how they feel about women. You might think that a girl attracts only sexually but then after breaking up, you remember about her for a long time. Or you may think that you fall in love with a girl, although, in reality, you just have a passionate and sexual desire for her. Emotions are often intertwined. That is why it is necessary to understand the difference between love and infatuation.
What Is the Meaning of Infatuation?
If we try to define infatuation, we can understand that it is something that arises between a man and a woman. It is such a strong feeling that completely absorbs people, and it often deprives them of the ability to reason sensibly and make adequate decisions. Such relationships are always built on strong physical attraction. Platonic love is devoid of vivid, expressive emotions that invariably accompany the passion that flared up between a man and a woman.
How does infatuation manifest itself?
The passion that has flared up between a man and a woman is such a mix of diverse emotions that it is impossible to control them. A person simultaneously experiences sexual attraction, euphoria, fear, and constraint. The psychological definition of infatuation is an uncontrollable feeling that arises against the will of a person at the level of instincts. In moments of strong sexual arousal, a person loses the power of personal independence. When a spark of mutual attraction flashes between a man and a woman, it is immediately noticeable.
What are the signs of infatuation?
In men and women, it manifests itself in different ways. A man, looking at the object of physical desire, is excited and eager to get something more from a woman. Men will use all their skills and abilities to quickly achieve the desired and merge into one soul with an attractive partner. In a woman, this feeling is measured and calmer. Girls tend to carefully weigh their emotions and analyze what is happening. They try to keep feelings under control and rarely allow instincts to take over the mind.
What is it – love or infatuation?
Many people confuse these two concepts. Sometimes partners, confusing a physical inclination for true love, create a family in the shortest possible time – they become spouses and have children, and the result is very bad. After some time, feelings fade away, and problems in family life appear, including mutual reproaches, offenses, and misunderstandings. All this happens because partners initially didn’t have anything but the desire to have sex. The passion that flared up between the representatives of different sexes is accompanied by strong, expressive emotions. Of course, bright feelings make everyday life rich and colorful. Even relationships based on infatuation can last several months and grow into love, which will give two people the opportunity to experience happiness.
How Long Does Infatuation Last?
Scientists have managed to find the answer to the question, “How long does infatuation last for a man?” They believe that infatuation has three phases of development.
The first phase is the most romantic and passionate one. As a rule, it lasts from 3 to 5 months. It happens even longer if there are obstacles between lovers, for example, they live in different countries or one of them has a spouse. All that lovers need during this period is to spend time with each other. At this stage, everything is wonderful with sex too. Moreover, there are no mutual complaints and offenses.
In the second phase, many people, having discovered that the object of passion is not perfect, try to point it out to him or her. The disappointment in a partner can be so strong that it ends in a breakup (most divorces occur in the second or fourth year of the relationship when the infatuation stage ends). Events most often develop in an optimistic scenario: rediscovering loved ones, many people begin to accept them with all the flaws or simply hope to change.
There comes a stage of mutual spiritual attraction. In this phase, the rhythm of intimate life is changing, people no longer care where, when and how much sex they have. The mature stage of infatuation suggests that passion cools down but doesn’t disappear altogether: people continue to attract each other, but a relationship becomes deeper and more conscious. However, there are couples who, with age, get into the taste of sexual relations, but most of them cool down and are satisfied with a couple of sexual contacts per month. Sex becomes routine; however, it is not very scary anymore – now spiritual intimacy is much more valued than physical.
The Difference Between Love and Infatuation
Talking about infatuation vs love, someone believes that these are completely identical concepts, and therefore, use them as synonyms. In fact, they have little in common, although they are inextricably connected with human relationships. But why should infatuation and love always be distinguished? Let’s try to clarify this issue.
Some people think that infatuation leads to love, but actually, it leads only to nights of hot sex. But sex is not an indicator of love. Sex is just sex. Yes, this is an integral part of dating, but this is not the most important thing. As psychologists say, infatuation is based only on physical attractiveness and illusion, and it usually fades away when people recognize each other as real. “Real” is the keyword here. Lovers show their true nature only after several months of dating. And it is impossible to say that you love someone until you fully get to know him or her. Thus, infatuation can pass, but love has not yet begun. So, what is the difference between infatuation and love then? How to understand what you feel to a person: increased sexual attraction or one of the most beautiful feeling?
You feel worried being with a loved one
If in the presence of a partner you start feeling anxious, your heartbeat quickens, and the world around literally ceases to exist (the reason is the inability to focus on anything other than the object of your desire), then you have infatuation signs in this case. If even after several months, these feelings are not replaced by peace and relaxation in the presence of your chosen one, it is time to sound the alarm – you will develop a subconscious dependence on your partner, which is unlikely to lead to something good. Only those relationships where relax and a permanent sense of protection reign can be called harmonious.
You always want to be close to your partner
What is the difference between love and infatuation? If it is infatuation, then the next behavior prevails: even if you have to leave, you start sending a million messages to your woman about where she is and what she does. In love, there is no total control. It is a bad way to bind a woman to yourself. Sooner or later, she will get tired of it, and she will deliberately look for at least some personal space, let alone a new man.
You don’t end every conflict in bed
On the one hand, this is a good opportunity to bring a little fire to a relationship. But it is worth sounding the alarm if it is not possible to solve problems in another way, for example, through constructive dialogue.
You don’t feel dependent
Love vs infatuation – what is it? Look, infatuation most often grows into dependence. You just can’t live without a loved one. But it doesn’t look like love. It is just dependence. In loving couples, everything happens exactly the opposite: after the first months of passion end, a smooth and relaxed relationship begins, in which each partner feels comfortable.
You don’t offend each other
All-consuming infatuation can sometimes play a cruel joke with you. Due to the fact that you are dependent on your partner and are afraid of losing “the source of your bright emotions,” you begin to forgive unallowable things: rudeness, neglect, taunts about yourself. So, is it love or infatuation? Please note that a truly loving people will never allow themselves to insult their loved ones, but rather will try to praise their self-confidence.
How to Get Over Infatuation?
Sometimes it happens that infatuation literally devours a person from the inside. But infatuation often leads to the trap of dependence on a person. The question arises: how to get rid of it if all thoughts are only about a loved one?
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Learn to love yourself
How to stop infatuation? First, you need to understand that the problem exists and try to get to the bottom of the cause of such a state. To get rid of infatuation, you will have to learn to love yourself. If you can’t do it yourself, you need to contact a specialist.
Look for flaws in a person
Love magic can overshadow reasonable arguments. However, make an effort over yourself and look closely at the object of your passion. Maybe you are crazy when you are together, but, at the distance, you can think soberly.
Find a hobby
This is good medicine that is suitable for many. Dealing with infatuation, an activity that will distract and give positive emotions will make life more diverse and brighter.
Work a lot
It helps cope with mental problems. Success in the workplace, career ladder, and communication with different people are a good remedy.
Do sports
Getting rid of infatuation can be done with the help of sports. Physical activity raises vitality and self-esteem and also helps improve appearance. Yoga, which has a positive effect on the emotional state of a person, is an excellent option. Also, it is recommended to engage in dancing to waste accumulated energy.
Lead an active life
Psychologists advise not to close yourself and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support is very important in this situation.
Try a replacement method
In especially difficult cases, when attempts at self-conviction, self-lodging, and visualization don’t help, and you don’t know how to cope with the state of emptiness, you need to start looking for an interesting person who can carry you away. It is important not to rush into new affairs, but to find, for example, a friend with whom you will be really interested in spending time. Thus, you fill your thoughts and feelings with new sensations. The main thing is to control yourself and not to fall back into the same trap.
Keep a distance
The more often you see your object of love, the stronger your pain will be. Make the necessary changes to your schedule not to see your woman. Don’t call her and write messages.
Set a new goal
Try to direct all your thoughts towards achieving a new goal. Keep a positive attitude and constantly remind yourself that you can overcome everything. Perhaps now it seems an irresistible task. However, if you think about it in this way, it will actually be difficult for you to get over infatuation.