At least once, everybody noticed some signs of an introvert in a person or even met the pure introverts, these quiet, unobtrusive, not sociable people.
Due to many natural features of introverts, their behavior, as well as their motives, remain completely incomprehensible for extroverts. Each new distinction between world perceptions gives birth to a new myth about introverts. Thus, a distorted image of the introvert is formed. Who is an introvert? In the eyes of the most zealous adherents of common truths, the introvert appears as an aggressive, frustrated and socially dysfunctional loser. Most people consider introverts to be almost aliens and try to keep the distance. They do that in vain because introversion is not a pathology, and it is not only possible to communicate with such people but even necessary. You just need to be able to do that.
So, who are introverts?
Of course, every topic is more serious than it meets the eye. Who are introverts and what special features do they have? Introversion (however, as well as extraversion) is one of the qualities of a person. This concept is related to the direction of life energy. Simply put, extroverts prefer to look for the causes and main points of the use of force in the external world, and introverts are, on the contrary, oriented towards their inner world. Different psychologists hold different points of view. Some believe that this quality is congenital, for example, as the color of the eyes.
Others, on the contrary, argue that this psychological type is not congenital but acquired. Perhaps, the inclination for introversion manifested itself in a deep childhood because of difficult relationships with peers, or maybe it is the result of upbringing. There are such parents who teach their children both not to pester strangers with questions and seek help. They have got embarrassed once and forever.
Also, on the Internet and in some scientific sources, one can find such term as "ambivert". This is a person who arbitrarily changes the "direction of the life energy" depending on the situation. An extrovert is influenced from the side, while the introvert is reserved, pedantic, punctual, terse. In everyday life introverts are called simply "unsociable”, but that is not true.
Why should you try to date them?
An introvert is a type of personality, focused more on the inner world and to a lesser extent on the outside. Despite their aloof manner, introverts can be very pleasant and interesting company, if you correctly communicate with them on the topics of their interest. These thoughtful people can tell a lot, and they also know how to listen to others. Also, introverts are often quite loyal and reliable friends and partners you can always rely on. However, if you want to become a friend of the introvert and you don’t care about most of the signs of an introvert person, you need to learn some rules and earn the trust of such person, not by words but by deeds.
In general, these are very interesting and in some cases even mysterious people, who have a great hidden potential. Without any exaggeration, one can say that a genius lives in many introverts, but this genius, as a rule, sleeps. To wake the genius up and allow them to reveal themselves to the fullest, it is necessary to help the introvert open up all his inner possibilities. Such people can give much to the world if the world meets them. Well, let's see what else interesting you can learn about introverts.
By nature, introverts are more sensitive and more vulnerable but they rarely show that. Strangely enough but this quality makes them great friends and family people. Indeed, the introverts simply will not do some bad things remembering how worried they were about someone's accidentally said word. So, if you are looking for a great partner for the whole life, an introverted person can become the best option.
Do you think about dating an introvert? The guideline
It's harder to say whether you like some people if they are introverts because you may not know how to get close to them. Do not give up promptly. When you enter this person's life and understand their world, you will be able to relax and behave as you would with any other person. In the end, you will gain a sense of achievement when you learn this person because you will reveal the secret – his personality.
- Pay attention whether a person is getting nervous, blushing in your presence. Introverts are sometimes unable both to make the first step and respond to the steps towards them, so their excitement affects them in one form or another.
- Convince this person that you are sincerely interested in them. To earn their trust, you will need something more than just one good conversation. You may find that a person seems to be avoiding you after a very good talk. Maybe they check your interest or just not sure what to do. If you do not see a constant negative response, just keep making slow, careful steps towards introverts dating.
- Tell a little about yourself. Just be friendly and calm. Talk in a low tone as if you want that only they to hear the story. If you provide some information about yourself, the introvert will be less nervous about sharing information about themselves. It is something like "you give me information, and I give you."
- Ask questions. Avoid questions that can be answered simply by "yes" or "no", try to give the person a little opportunity to talk. The reaction can be different, it all depends on a specific person. Some introverts cheer up when they talk to a familiar person, while others prefer to keep the distance.
- Do not think that a person will understand the hints. They may just not notice them. In addition, a person can catch a hint but not pay special attention to it thinking that you are not serious.
- Listen to the introvert. Even if the statement seems to you to be frivolous and thoughtless, it is often just shyness or embarrassment when trying to show the feelings. Many people feel awkward expressing their feelings, the same thing is with the introverts. If this person is not indifferent to you, try to make some efforts instead of creating your own barrier, complicating communication with the introvert.
- Pay special attention to body language. They will not tell you what they think about the case. You need to be attentive to understand what they mean. For example, a small, shy smile is a positive sign. A forced smile can be a signal that you need to step back a little.
- If you think about dating an introvert, try to be available for them. They may need a lot of courage to make a step towards someone they like, and will not get another chance soon enough, so, use such an opportunity!
- Treat an introvert with understanding. Accept the fact that all people have their own complex and unique style of communication. People cannot communicate and understand each other all the time perfectly 100%. Everybody makes mistakes and all have misunderstandings. Give people the opportunity to be people and take risks in trying to express themselves, leave some space for forgiveness. Dating for introverts is a very special and important deal.
Learn some tips before dating an introvert
- Do not make generalized assumptions about thoughts and intentions that you would use when talking with the extrovert. These rules don’t work with introverts.
- Give them personal space with their own borders and silence. None of that in its essence will mean that something has gone wrong, as it can mean with extroverts. These are natural needs in the lives of many people.
- Be friendly but not assertive. If it seems to you that you make a person feel uncomfortable, just ask, "Do I make you feel uncomfortable? If so, just tell me, I promise, I will not be offended."
Online dating with introverts
During online dating, you should use the same rules as if you talk face-to-face. When you communicate with the introvert, the main thing is to remember that they were born with such qualities and they cannot be changed. Do not impose or try to talk them out, especially you should not blame them for avoiding communication. If you really plan to visit dating sites for introverts and communicate with them, prepare for pauses in messages and in communication itself. They will think about every word they say. Of course, online dating gives them much more confidence and space to behave as they want to.
You have already known how to date an introvert, but there is still one important introvert dating advice. Introverts have a sense of humor too. Their humor is often more restrained and subtle, and it's not just "stupid jokes." Do not take it wrong if sometimes the introvert perceives your teasing seriously or literally. Especially if you do not know this person very well. The techniques for establishing contact that works with extroverts will not work with introverts.
If you manage to become a close person for an introvert, and they will show you at least a piece of their inner world, you will marvel at their indifference, depth, and what secrets and emotions this person hides.
Online dating for introverts
- If you are lucky to be born introvert, and others perceive you just as a closed or arrogant person, try to put yourself in their shoes (after all you know how to do that). They just do not understand that you are different and try to communicate with you as with other people.
- Try to take the initiative when you want to talk.
- If you want to see someone, write or call them. Attention is always pleasant. If you attribute yourself to introverts and dating other people doesn’t scare you very much, try sometimes to make the first step towards the person you like.
- If people ask you something, reply. Perhaps they are really interested in that. And if they are not, show courtesy at least.
- Your soul will never be fully understood by you. Do not be lazy, try to get to know another soul. It is likely that you will meet your soul mate.